Working my way national one rejection at a time

 I feel like it shouldn't be so hard for me to freelance write at a national level. I know plenty of local writers who are freelancing at a national level and they are inspirations to me. But every time I come across their articles I wonder what I am doing wrong. I have been doing this whole published writing gig for 11 years now. It's pretty crazy to realize that. I know I have come a long way and I am grateful for that. But, I feel like I should be further along.

As I continue to get older, I notice that the editors I am pitching to are getting younger. They are the ones with the power to say yes or no to my ideas. They are also leaps and bounds ahead of me in their careers and when I discover their professional accomplishments I experience a weird combination of jealousy and admiration.

Did I miss my chance? When do I accept that I may be too little too late? You do not need to be young to write. But these ambitious writers who are my competition seem to have the energy to work the full time job and stay up super late to get the article done and then wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed to do it all over again.

When I am done with my 8-10 hour day, I (try) to go straight to work out. From there, it's coming home to shower and eat dinner and by the time I actually get to sit down and relax, it's time to head to bed. I constantly seem to struggle with the side of me that is so tired and just wants to rest and the side of me that wants to be up late coming up with new story ideas and writing.

Once I come up with the idea I have to track down editor contact info and then pitch the ideas. Then it is a waiting game. So far, I either do not get a response at all or I get turned down.

I am trying not to give up because what I really want is to write. It is what I have wanted for most of my life. It just is not as easy as "Sex and the City" would have you believe. Or any other show about writers that I have seen. They make it look so glamorous. And almost always, the writer hits it big. A lot of these fictional writers in TV shows are in New York. Maybe being a Utah-based writer is half my problem.  Or maybe reality is much more difficult than the fictional life of the young, glamorous writer who can somehow not work but afford to live in amazing apartments in the Big Apple.

As I continue to work through my crisis, I guess the only thing I can do is keep going and keep trying. If I don't make it to where I imagine myself going, at least I cannot blame myself for not trying. But sometimes the trying gets tough and I really just want to say fuck it all. And take a nap.

Sex in Salt Lake City: Look Out Carrie Bradshaw ...

I have not written a blog post since Valentine's Day, and I hate that. It's not that I have gotten lazy, but that work has gotten busier.

One of my new assignments at work is to write a love-advice column. In an effort to not come across as a know-it-all (because I definitely don't), I am choosing to draw from my own life experiences. The good, the bad, the ugly and I can't leave out the beautiful. I want to give advice that people will actually listen to and in my opinion, to do that, I need to be honest with the reader and with myself.

I hope to get another blog up here soon, but for now, here is the debut of my new column for Now in Salt Lake magazine.

Seasons of Love

Being a 31-year-old unmarried and childless woman in Utah pretty much makes me an old maid. So I found it a bit surprising when the idea for me to write a weekly love-advice column was pitched. At first, I was excited because like most every other aspiring young female writer out there, I once dreamed of being the Carrie Bradshaw of Salt Lake, and this was my chance to do that. Then the next wave of thought went through my brain and I realized that, aside from the insane shoe collection, I don't want to be anything like Carrie Bradshaw.

When the "Sex in the City" series ended, I was very disappointed with Carrie's decision to go back to Big. I had many a feminist rant over the writers of the show choosing to have her character make that decision. The terrible ending to what many women considered an empowering show gave me an epiphany: You can write about love and sex, and you can capture the attention of the world, but if you don't believe that you are good enough for a relationship that is worthy of you, then why should anyone take you seriously?

I am engaged now, but my road to finding a great man was a rocky one, with me putting up with things in relationships that had me looking pretty pathetic in the eyes of others. It wasn't that I was pathetic. It was that my self-esteem was pretty much non-existent.

In an effort to help you avoid the pitfalls I fell into, I am going to write openly each week. I will answer questions that you might have (without revealing who you are). And of course, I will give you an insight into my bittersweet years of singlehood: what I regret, what I encourage everyone to try at least once and why you must find yourself before you will ever find a person worth a relationship.

I won't sugarcoat anything.

If you have a love, sex or dating question you want answered, email me atathatcher@nowsaltlake.com

(photo by Leah Hogsten)